Monday, May 19, 2008

Tonight's the Night

Well, tonight is trigger. I am worried. The right ovary is producing nicely - 9 follicles, several good sized ones. But the left has apparently given up hope altogether. 2 lousy follicles.

My RE and nurse have been trying to be reassuring. They say this is a pretty good response, similar to my last cycle. Should I remind them my last cycle did not get me pregnant? On a happy note my E2, which was practically non-existent early on (74 on Day 3 of stims) is surging, 1500 something yesterday.
As if the cycle itself is not stressful enough I have home issues. I love my husband, and he is a good guy. But let's face it - he is DONE, DONE, DONE with IVF. And has been since last fall. I think the only reason he agreed to one last cycle was his fear of me imploding with grief. But it is becoming increasingly clear that he has checked out.

This weekend I had monitoring about an hour away from where we live (the local office isn't open on weekends). He hates going, and this weekend he didn't. What is weird is that his coming along doesn't really make it any easier or more fun for me, although he does usually do the driving. He isn't a hand holder, distract you with a joke or a good conversation kind of guy. He is more barely awake, reading the paper, slightly grumpy kind of guy. But I was really resentful of him sleeping while I got the dildocam and bloodwork.

So what's a girl to do with all this stress? Well this girl has been undergoing acupuncture. I have only done it for one previous cycle and I did get pregnant that time. Anyway, I have been for 4 sessions. The last couple of sessions have involved the normal stuff and a bonus - she fills my belly button with salt, places pieces of burning moxa in it until it starts to scorch me, and repeats multiple times. I lay on the table with my belly exposed, tendrils of smoke curling up to the ceiling, like a giant human pipe. And I was impressed with the guys in college who could smoke weed out of a soda can.

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