It's funny, I didn't really realize it had been 7 IVFs until I started writing this stuff down. That's not a number I ever thought we would get to. In fact in one of my first conversations with a veteran IVFer I remember being slightly taken aback that she had tried 6 times before adopting. It hadn't even occurred to me it could NOT work.
So here is a brief synopsis:
We started out at GWU. We loved our doctor, not so much the staff we interacted with.2005FET#1 was at GWU also, 2 frozen embryos transferred. BFN.We were pretty crushed, and angry over the first transfer. We took almost a year off. We then moved (with our remaining frozen embryos) to Shady Grove. We decided to try transferring the last of our frozen embryos, so that was...2006FET#2, last 3 frozen embryos transferred. BFN.We then spent a couple of months getting qualified for shared risk. I had one high FSH at that point so I was happy to qualify. Especially since our insurance covers nothing.2007IVF#2 was our first whole cycle with Shady Grove. I think we only had 4 embryos, only 2 of which looked decent so they transferred both, BFP! Miscarriage and D&C at 13 weeks.We bought into the idea that because of the pregnancy/miscarriage we would surely get pregnant again quickly. SO we did 2 more cycles in succession...IVF#3 BFNIVF#4 BFN
And that brings us up to date. Looking back, I know the miscarriage (being so close!) in a strange way kept us going. I mean SGRF got us pregnant with the first IVF. So now we had trust in them and we knew I could get pregnant.
After the last 2 cycles we kind of realized it may not happen again. My husband had had enough. He is ready to adopt. Intellectually I agreed but it absolutely destroyed me. I was crying in my sleep and just so sad. We agreed to try one last time.
I took 4 months preparing. I had a laparoscopy for endometriosis, started working out, cut out artificial sweeteners and caffeine, having acupuncture, started eating mostly organic and taking supplements. I didn't want to look back and think "Man! If I had taken wheat grass juice maybe that would have made the difference. Maybe I screwed up our opportunity to have a child."
Hearing the embryos looked so good I think helps. Obviously it is encouraging, but also if these little guys don't take then I think I could say "It really wasn't meant to happen." God, I don't want to say that.
2 comments:
Wow, you've been through a lot! I hope that this time is "it."
WOW, you are an amazing woman who has endured so much. I'm not sure I could do that many cycles, but sometimes determination is much stronger than we can imagine. I wish you much luck with your current cycle and hope that your baby finds you.
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