Thursday, May 29, 2008

I Wish My Boobs Hurt

It has been a tough couple of days.  Of course the 2ww is by definition agonizing, but this time I am having such a hard time being hopeful.  I feel downright pessimistic.  And then guilty for putting negative thoughts out into the universe, and into my uterus.

Found out yesterday that none of the other three embryos made it to freezing.  I then spent an hour lamenting the fact that (in my funk) that means none of the three we transferred made it. Talk to JD (my new blog name for husband), who is also sad.  He points out we had no intention of pursuing another FET so maybe God is just being kind and saving us from deciding what to do with them. Humph.  Then he calls our RE, who says it has no bearing on whether we'll get pregnant or not.

Apparently 50% of cycles have something to freeze, period.  No matter whether they are successful or not.  He says firmly there is no correlation, that essentially we selected the best embryos to transfer and so left the worst and that makes it difficult to ever figure out what it all means.  He does say if you get pregnant on a cycle that also provided frozen embryos then a subsequent FET is more likely to be successful.  Also agrees with JD that these are the best embryos we've ever produced.  This is mildly comforting to me.

I move on to lament a complete and utter lack of pregnancy symptoms.  I know, I know.  Still.

I go to Costco and buy a 4 pack of HPTs.  I try to figure out when I can POAS with any degree of accuracy.  Also try and figure out what day PO I am.  Do you count the ER day as Day 1?   Who the hell knows (if you know, please tell me).

I haven't done it yet.  But I want to.

On the upside I did find a very cute new top at's rather blousey (sp?), may work as an early maternity top.


Pepper said...

Your RE's stats are better than mine! I'm told that only 20-25% of fresh IVF cycles have anything leftover to freeze. And I absolutely agree with the statement that the number of frozens has nothing to do with your chances. I know of at least one blogger currently pg with twins who had nothing left to freeze from about two DOZEN embryos.

I believe you are 4dp3dt (four days post three day transfer), which is 7dpo (just add the numbers together). Still waaay too early for symptoms. Hang in there!

Hokie said...

Thanks Pepper, that story is encouraging. Drinking fresh wheatgrass juice today made me nauseous, maybe I'll just do that whenever I need symptoms! ;-)

T-Mommy said...

Hang in there... I had no symptoms whatsoever (other than no AF) during my whole pregnancy. No morning sickness, no boob pain or tenderness, no heartburn... nothing!
It all started to seem real when my belly started to pop out.

I felt pretty normal the whole time

kcmarie122 said...

I hope the rest of your TWW goes by fast. My sister assures me that it is really really rare to have any symptoms before your beta day. So there's still tons of hope!

Oh yeah, and welcome to blogging! I see you're relatively new! It is so fun! I am addicted!

And thanks for your comment on my blog! Best of luck to you!

seriously? said...

Here's to a speedy 2ww. I don't think you should feel anything just yet.

Easier said than done but hold out testing as long as you can :)

JJ said...

Came over from Cyclesista...wishing you the best!! Your bio caught my eye--I grew up very close to VA Tech--have a lot of memories at that school ;)